It’s a stunning hotel — but will my kids like it?

The dinner jazz is in full swing and my eight-year-old is into it. If an adult was swaying this close to a singer, security would be informed, but here at Cameron House, the musician just smiles indulgently while the busy restaurant staff do their best not to trip over him.
We’re at the Grill, the poshest (since the closure last year of the fine-dining Tamburrini & Wishart) of several restaurants at Cameron House, a resort so well organised and planned that you wish other hoteliers would come over to learn how it’s done.
You could put its appeal down to the location — on the water’s edge on the south side of Loch Lomond, half an hour’s drive from Glasgow. Or perhaps the many facilities (more of which later). Then there’s the slick and friendly service (in person, at least; getting through on the phone can take ages), handsome decor and multiple dining options, including a truly decadent afternoon tea. But the whole is worth more than the sum of the parts here.
Emerging from an extensive renovation in 2021 after a devastating fire in 2017, Cameron House is seriously big. There are more than 200 rooms and suites, as well as a few self-catering lodges and a broad mix of facilities and entertainment. A small seaplane is docked a few metres from the main hotel entrance — were Barack Obama and Leonardo DiCaprio tempted to have a go when they stayed here for Cop26, one wonders? — and round the side there’s a golf course.
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If you enjoy playing on the water, and don’t want to splash out on flying above it, there’s loads to do, from peaceful — and only mildly risky — paddleboarding to the James Bond-flavoured thrill of a jet ski. We opt for a happy medium, a speedboat trip around the glassy loch, the second largest body of water in the UK by volume (after Loch Ness).
Half hypnotised by the beauty of it all, and half frozen, we stagger into La Vista (known as the Boat House until a rebranding this spring) for a hot chocolate. What a gorgeous waterside restaurant this is, with its New England vibe, outdoor seating (not today, thank you very much) and gastropub-style food. A compact children’s menu (two courses, such as garlic bread and a cheeseburger or goujons, for £12; three for £15) goes down well, while the grown-ups devour some great pizzas (starting at £16).
A superior breakfast is laid on at the Grill, where you can find almost anything — from invigoratingly healthy to hangover-solving — that your greedy little heart desires. In the evening, this is where we have the most memorable food of our stay (£65 for two courses; £75 for three), with highlights in a faultless, beautifully prepared dinner including colourful ras el hanout-spiced courgettes and a baked stone bass.
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Prices are more manageable in the Tavern, a sort of mock-up pub catering to families, though the nosh here isn’t anything to write home about. You’ll pay about £16 for a burger and can watch sport on a big screen; it’s pretty noisy when busy.
One of the many draws here is the fabulous leisure centre (it has a sizeable pool, with hot tub, sauna and steam room), where the kids spend a dizzying amount of time zooming down the water slide, while we escape to the spa, a few minutes’ drive away on the courtesy hotel bus. Holy mother, it’s a wonderful spot, with a calm pool, various thermal treatment areas and, best of all, a rooftop thermal bath. I soak for ages, gazing at the frosty greenery, channelling my inner Japanese snow monkey.
We planned to use the hotel’s bikes on our final day, but unkind weather forces us indoors, giving us a chance to experience the hotel’s private cinema. It’s an intimate 29-seater space, and your £12 (£6.50 for kids) ticket includes a small box of popcorn and soft drink.
With so much to do, you’d be forgiven for not spending too much time in your room but, with more time and zero children, chilling out in this cosy space would be a treat. Our room, with pretty loch views, is decorated in classic Scottish country house style, and the children have a small room with a bunk bed and soft, padded walls (a sensible touch, given how easily excitement gives way to insanity with my two). Back home they now complain regularly about not being able to go to Cameron House whenever they want to. I could mimic the jazz at a stretch, but will leave the rest of the provision of luxury to the experts.
Ashley Davies was a guest of Cameron House Hotel (cameronhouse.co.uk). B&B doubles cost from £285; family rooms cost from £470